The best stories have a little bit of everything… action, adventure, heart, humor, and romance. Yes, romance. Romance can do so many things for a story, and it provides a really great way for readers to connect with the characters. Romance can provide an extra layer of depth to a character, romance can add tension or excitement to a plot and romance can help create a world that the reader wants to live in. When a reader connects with a character, they can feel sadness when that character’s heart is broken, and can feel joy when they finally find love. We all experience some type of romance in our lives, so having characters experience romance as well is a great way to form an emotional connection. But writing romance, or adding romance to your story is not always easy. There are so many different types of romance, and everyone has different experiences when it comes to love and attraction. No matter what the story is though, there are some things that are common across all romances. So, here is my list of the 5 tips to help you write a successful romance.

1. Likable Characters

   This sounds simple enough right? If we don’t like the characters we’re reading about, why would we care if they find love or not? A story needs to have characters that readers can connect with, in order to become invested in any sort of romance. So, before a character even has a romance, you should develop their own unique characteristics and qualities. In other words, romance can’t be the only thing a character has going for them. If a young girl doesn’t care about anything else other than the boy she’s in love with… that’s not interesting. Characters should have their own wants, needs, and desires that are separate from love. We should be able to like the character on their own, regardless of any romance or not. Not every character even needs to start out likable. It is possible for characters to change and grow over time, and maybe they become more likable when they find some romance. Love can make someone happy, or cause them pain. No matter what direction the story goes in, the characters should be relatable, and likable enough to get readers invested in their romance.

2. Physical Attraction

   In general, when two people fall in love, there is at least something that they find physically attractive about the other person. For example, a lot of people say they notice eyes first, but it could be someone’s hair, the way their nose is shaped, or even the way that they move. You don’t have to spend pages and pages detailing exactly how someone looks though. Instead, pick out one feature and focus on that. It’s also important to turn physical attraction into emotional attraction. Don’t just talk about how someone looks, write about how they make you feel. For example, instead of saying “They’re eyes were blue and soulful”, say “Looking into their blue eyes touched something in my soul”. The feeling you get associated with a physical feature is what can really connect with readers.

3. Room to Grow

   Real romance doesn’t happen overnight. Sure, it is possible to have love at first sight, but even then, that romance will change over time. Love always changes and grows over time. The love you have when you’re 12 years old, is quite different from the love you have when you’re 30. So, no matter where love happens in your story, there needs to be space for that love to grow and change into something different than what it started as. For example, friendship can grow into romantic love, or high-school sweethearts can grow into mature adult relationships. No matter what the situation, the story needs to allow space for the relationship to grow and change. No relationship stays the same forever. Plus, allowing room to grow allows readers more chances to connect with the romance… because even if they don’t connect with one aspect of the relationship, they may connect with where it ends up.

4. Conflict

   No relationship is perfect. Whether it’s internal, or external forces, having some sort of conflict make romance more interesting for a reader. Think of your classic love triangle… or the “Will they/won’t they” troupe, or enemies to lovers…. those are all based on conflict. The reason why those troupes are used over and over again, is because they work! No matter if it’s a big issue, or just a small one, having characters overcome conflict in their relationships is a great way to make them more relatable to readers. Plus, overcoming conflict is yet another great way to get your readers invested in the romance. If you have likable characters, who have a romance that has grown over the course of the story, how can the reader not celebrate when their romantic conflict is overcome. Conflict and tension are a must to make any romance interesting. No one wants a boring romance.

5. Healthy Relationships

   This is a personal request to all writers out there… it’s time to get away from unhealthy relationships. Relationships where one side controls the other, or is overbearing and obsessive, is no longer acceptable. Instead, writers should focus on promoting healthy relationships. Whenever you are writing… think about the people you love in your life, and if you would want them in that kind of relationship. Think of 50 Shades of Grey… sure, it sounds great to have a hot rich guy so obsessed with you he follows you everywhere and does everything for you. But that’s not realistic… because it’s NOT Healthy! It’s ok for people to change and grow in a relationship, but it’s not ok for someone to want to change another person for their benefit. Think about the nerdy girl or guy who “suddenly” becomes cute when she or he gets a hair cut…. Just no. Those days are over, move on, and come up for more creative ways to write your romance. Real romance is about partnership, and accepting others for who they are, as they are.

I could go on and on about all the things that I like to read in my romance stories. But, every story is different, and every romance is different. Everything from the Mark, Cristina, Kerian thruple in The Dark Artifices series, to Edward and Bella from Twilight, and everything in-between. There are sweet and innocent romances, or sexy spicy romances. Stories that are all about romance, and stories where romance is only the secondary story-line. No matter what type of romance you’re writing, or where you’re putting romance in your story, the above tips are applicable to all types of romance. So those are my 5 tips for writing romance. I would love to hear from you, and hear what you think every romance writer should do. Leave a comment below, or come join the conversation over on Instagram. Happy Valentine’s Day, and Happy reading!